Revisions

To improve my rhetorical analysis essay and create a clearer comparison and contrast between the artifacts, some revisions were necessary. I had to relook at the first main body paragraph/artifact analysis and remove some of the comparisons made to the second artifact which had not yet been addressed. The lack of context for the second artifact while using it as a comparison point (in the first paragraph) took away from the significance of the contrast since the reader did not yet have the information to fully understand the conclusion being drawn. The comparison and contrasting points made in the first paragraph were instead added to the third body paragraph where the majority of comparison was taking place, putting it more in frame for the reader and making it easier to read.